From Journal to Owner
by imaginethwrldisurs
Summary: Written from L's journal's point of view of L's life with BB and Raito leading them to their demises. Pshh. Like, journals can write...xD


Disclaimer: I do not own DeathNote because if I did, Misa would have been killed in some drastic and horrorific way and L and Raito would have so gotten together. I also would have had Matsuda thrown out the window. ^_^

This was written for the first creative writing assignment I was given in a whole year. The topic was supposed to be "Pick an item that you own and write about yourself from it's point of view." Except that failed. This is written from L's journal's point of view of L's life with BB and Raito leading them to their demises. *Cues evil maniacal laugh*

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I was left at the tree branch and nearby on the bench you were sitting and watching the children go play. You were wary of time disfiguring your face and yet your mind had wandered to the glow of the youth. Some simple-minded child could steal your attention from me? How could that be? I was complex as you wanted me to be or simple as you yearned for me to be and yet something so innocent and naïve could take a hold of your attention. You are not who you used to be. You were that man who thought of solutions logically with no emotional pressure at all. You would risk your life to know you were right. But you were not so sure anymore. You grew attached to those men that died. They grew a liking to you and you turned your back on them because you knew that even though they were surely the ones who caused so much misery, you definitely could not look at them to let them know of the kindred feeling you had. Your stomach twisted each time you saw BB or Raito.

You later traced at my surface, telling me how you felt and why some child had grasped your attention. Although you were usually content and always busied yourself with thinking, the children had induced a terrible pang that vibrated through your chest. Isn't that what you told me? You said they reminded you of those boys who grew up to be the men you turned your back on. They were normal kids at first but grew bored and life was too easy for them. So they decided to fatally play with people or do justice for the world, things that would entertain them for the time being. One wanted to deceive you and the other wanted to become the god of the new world. But they did it the wrong way because people got hurt, people died because of them. You knew they had caused so much death yet you saw through that. Both matched your intelligence perfectly and could spark interesting conversations with you anytime but you knew they were doing something wrong. You could not make up your mind. Were they good or bad? That's what you said.

You said you couldn't think of anything besides BB's eyes looking at you through the bars of the cell the night he died. You saw Raito's eyes desperate for someone to agree with him and save him but you refused to do anything. You sat and cried about the days to come; begging someone to come and help you out of your misery and no one listened. Placid tears rolled down your cheeks; those that wanted to break you apart came later. They succeeded in making you less of whom you truly were. They kept tearing pieces from you until you had died. Your involvement in the BB murder cases and the Kira case ensured your death, neither by BB nor Raito-_kun_ but by your own self. You turned your back on them and they seeped into nonexistence and then they came to you everyday. They found you so easily and they haunted you. They mocked you every night. You grew tired but you let your nights grow with insomnia. Always planning to fall asleep on the wine red armchair with your legs crouched and your finger near your lip, just staring at the multiple TVs, but never reaching the point of unconsciousness. But even staying awake could not help you because they eventually followed you around, always teasing and taunting you. Your eyes shifted from one direction to the other, making sure you were always alone. You could not bear the thought of seeing Raito or BB's image walking towards you. But it seemed your fear did not prevent that from happening. Every night, they appeared at the opposite wall with their backs toward you. You called out to them. They turned around and stared at you with begging eyes. Then they always walked towards, crying "Why?" They would get so close. You thought they would kill you but in fact they walked through you and disappeared. Every night was like this and you could do nothing to stop it from happening.

Red eyes were scarcely inscribed in the heart-shaped face created. You glared and strained your eyes to picture the face on my page; your eyes bent on creating the right swoop for his nose and correct line for the mouth. BB's face was carved into your mind from the first time you saw him. Maybe he was your savior. Maybe he was the one to come and make everything better. You told me how scared you felt in one of your entries.

"Yesterday, he was wearing what any other normal guy across Britain would wear, but today he showed up dressed exactly like me. His hair melted over the left side of his head and ended up with distinct spikes at the end that no one would mistake for anyone else but me. Yet, he did it extraordinarily well. The baggy white shirt draped over his toned and lean body and his old blue jeans came at a loose end at the bottom of his feet. There was only one mistake. He was wearing shoes. Although, there are times when wearing shoes are a necessity, for example walking in public, I would never wear shoes indoors, especially in Wammy's House. He did, however, correct it by taking off his shoes as soon as he stepped into the living room. He didn't wear any socks, mimicking my dislike for socks. As soon as he had flicked his shoes off, he hopped into the wine red armchair right across from me. He was sitting in my favorite position, crouched with his arms and hands on his knees and his finger near his lip. Once comfortable, he looked straight at me and said 'Hello, L.' How did he know my name already? He's only been here for four days. I wasn't sure if I should've chosen not to respond but I did respond. I don't like him. I asked him exactly how he knew my name but he told me he had his sources. His name is BB or at least that's what he told me. Wammy won't give me any information on him, yet he knows all about me. There has to be someone that he is getting his information from. But he knows too much. I hope this does not escalate into a dangerous situation. From the look on his face, there is a 76% chance that it will and I have to be prepared."

Unfortunately, this reminded you of that time Raito asked you, "Why do you sit like that?"

"I just can't sit any other way than this. If I sit the way other people do, my reasoning ability drops by 40%."

That was the smart-alek answer you came up with. You knew you were making that percentage up but you were pretty sure it did some difference. Raito chuckled like he was genuinely amused. That was a first, but there is a first for everything.

Glaring at me again and straining again to morph the previous face into Raito's face was hard because for so long you made yourself forget about them and then you wanted and needed to bring them back. Why were you causing yourself so much stress and misery? L, you did not need to have this much pressure. You did not need to change the world. But you managed to stop the world from changing into a world full of Kira supporters and vigilantes. You knew that killing criminals because they were what they were was wrong and knew that the present judicial system was the only place they could receive punishment from. Raito, Kira, Light, whatever you want to call him, he still twisted your friendship so he could merely use you to get close to the minds of the members of the Kira investigation, especially close to you. You were the world's top three detectives under different aliases but you failed to overcome your own fears and emotions. You said it yourself; Raito was truly the first friend you ever had. But he was killing criminals around the world with the help of a notebook, pen, and a death god. He was killing them with heart attacks. There was no way you could have gained plausible evidence against him so easily.

Luckily, by joining the investigation, Raito let the notebook get in your hands. "The human whose name is written in this note shall die." The only thing stopping you from arresting was evidence that this notebook worked. You were not allowed to try it. Therefore the only conclusion you could get from this was that Raito would kill you with it. It was not a pleasant thought. Not because of your own mortality and death, but because of the instrument and the cause of your death. You and Raito had this incredible bond that you thought you would never find. It would be severed for eternity and would not return once he killed you. You saw it even before you could put a name and face on it. You saw it when Kira kept countering your moves to apprehend him. But you did catch him. Seeing him in that warehouse running from you as you told him you caught him was a horrible memory to look back on. But you killed him so that he and you would coexist in nothingness. You wrote his name as tranquil tears fell. The 'R" making its way to begin a thought. The "A" seeking to continue the same drastic thought. The "I" was standing proudly though it should not have. The "T" almost neared the pride of the previous letter. The "O" staring you in the face. You took your time as you made a space between his first name and the last. Simple letters took long to write as you heaved onto the notebook not wanting to see your own hand move to kill the one person you bonded with. Y-A-G-A-M . . . You thought about that last letter. Should you have written it or not? You did; you wrote that damning "I". In 40 seconds, he was dead. The cause of death: a heart attack. Then you proceeded to the next line. You wrote your real name along with details of your own death. In 23 days you would die.

That day you condemned yourself to death was the same day BB was killed of a heart attack five years ago, January 21st, 2004. How ironic? Most likely, Raito killed him. The days following your terrible action, you grew more isolated. You wallowed in your deep depression. All you did was think about the days to come. Placid tears rolled down your cheeks again; those that wanted to break you apart came later. They succeeded in making you less of whom you truly were. They kept tearing pieces from you until the eve of that fated 23rd day; something overcame you. You sat in the wine red armchair again. You stared out the window to look at sky. One second, it was dark as the raven black hair on your scalp. The next second, it was as bright as the honey auburn hair on Raito's scalp. You knew this was the last time you would be able to count time. As you smiled the last time, your heart pounded deep in your chest. You sank into your seat with that same smile. You did not die in pain although heart attacks were painful. Lawliet, you died that very second ready to join Raito in the world of nothingness. You left me, your journal, to tell your story. Set out the mourning birds to sing of the damage for the raven-haired detective is gone…

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AN: This is my first fanfic. So please review and be nice to me! Well, actually you don't have to be nice to review. I'll give you a cookie if you do!!!

^_^ "Come to the dark side, L. I have strawberry cake and marshmallows."


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